What's holding back the webcomic.

Hello, everyone, DAMC here...

Four days without posting seemed like way too much time for an emerging blog regardless of it being a support blog for another blog that tends to collect a lot of dust between posts.
When i started drawing Leo i quickly realised my biggest flaw was not really on the drawing itself, but in the time it actually took me to complete each one of them.

I don´t know if a lot of people who draw face the same problem, but i always get a quality of anxiety and fear when faced with a fresh new piece of paper to draw on it. I wanna jump into it and cover it with my art, but at the same time im overwhelmed with the responsibility to do something of worth just so the paper don´t end up wasted in some stupid doodle. This, i must blame on my mother... I know, i know, everyone always blames their mothers for this and that, but i swear she litteraly said those things to me when i was a kid and i was at the table drawing. back then she tried to instill me an ecological mind ( i hope so) by saying those things. Like, before i even drew something she would question me if i was gonna draw something worthy or just doodle, because the paper was not for that, blah, blah...

That i think is the reason why i feel more comfortable drawing on scrap paper that is already "ruined" anyways.
Im ashamed to admit most of my best drawings will never see the light because they were executed that way, and of course, never finished.
Ah, the mind and it's fragility!
So my pathetic brain freaks out when faced to a pristine sheet of paper, sets for failure and of course accomplish exactly that.
This stupid "condition" (trauma) causes me to repeat the same drawin A LOT!
Here, check this one i started for number 16 and got quickly abandoned.

The result, im probably the slowest penciler out there ( who doesn't yet delivers pieces like Frank Quitely do. God! Have you seen his work? HE IS AWESOME. Totally the kind of penciler i hope to be).

Between this and the whole process of healing and diferentiation between Leo and I, number 17 has been started, sketched and redone several times already for the last few months.
I mentioned before i toyed with the idea of redone the entire webcomic entirely and give it a new vibe, look, everything. Im dying to introduce Leo's friends and begin the kind of story Leo was always meant to be.
But there's a lot of stuff  i honestly still don't know how to do digitally and technique wise, so, it made sense Der Kaiser ist Kaputt remains as a form of testimony for the constant improvement of something that had a defined beggining.

So, for number 17 there has been a lot of ideas regarding how to treat the story of Leo waking up after a couple of years of slumber.
I really, really, really don´t want to do a downer webcomic anymore.

In it's inicial concept, Leo was a bohemian artist who, when he wasn´t some guy´s boy, he was venturing into the world seeking to satisfy a  raging lust for life burning in his heart like a disease.
The very first idea for Leo´s webcomic was him and Mike Steel, his first love (another story for another time) in Vancouver's gay parade. Both wanting to drink but not having enough money. Leo, who's been carrying a coffee cup gets upset and opens his arms causing some person to drop a coin or two in his cup. Mike laughs as Leo contemplates staring at the coin at the bottom of the cup.
The punchline was Leo shoving Mike away telling him to give him some space to get them booze money.

The idea was that Leo could be easily mistaken as a homeless person in need, and him using that to his advantage. Leo didn't care, Leo didn't need social approval nor external validation, and he had Mike.
It was a good one, wasn´t it? But that idea comes from early 2009, and i wouldn't be me if i hadnt gone through some serious shit back then putting everything in perspective.
But i want to recover that part of Leo's personality... Im pretty sure i have some of those  sketches for that early beggining somwhere with me. If i find them i'll edit this post just to show them.
Leo was a bit different then, younger and bolder.
The Leo i've been drawing since 2011 has been very angry and dark for a long time already, and he is not really meant to be THAT dark and angry always. Unless he ran out of weed, then by all means, evacuate the planet.

I had not long ago an idea on where to take the story and ive been maturing it... That and the pieces i can produce now as far as drawing please me. They really do, even though i know i am far from the level i want to have. I think im ready to continue this journey of a little Kaiser called Leo who´s been away for far too long.
 But where is he been exactly? Some kind of desert? And there's, or there was snow there? Where is Leo?

And that´s exactly the question im gonna answer maybe in the next post, for now auf wiedersehen!

DAMC out.